well hello lads! okay, first thing first I feel so thankful holly day is coming to town. Yes, that means holiday. God, I feel so useless this whole month, beside praying and fasting..there's nothing to do. Or maybe I'm just lazy and lack of initiative to do something useful this month..oh boy, I hate myself. When holiday just starting I made sooooooooo many plans that failed at the end of the day. I'm on my edge of life, I guess everybody has their own edge of life huh? But right now, this is my time. I feel hell coming right through my bones and burn my way towards the future :(

well I hope this feeling will fade and gone.

every aspect in my life like Love, education, family, future, self consciousness scratching me asking for help. The time when I have to step back and rethink, rebuild, my life has come, and I feel grateful to feel this because when you fall into the darkest deepest cliff and you feel so lonely ,that is the best time you can build yourself better before you crawl back into the light.

okay enough blabbing, do bath-ing. Wish my rebuild plans success, wish me luck and remember when you fall step back, get yourself together and find the light. Don't dig deeper into the dark.